Are you and your significant other getting married soon? Would you like to learn more about Quebec wedding traditions and customs?
In our grandparents’ day, weddings were very formal. They didn’t have the latitude we have today, which leaves the door wide open to creativity. After all, it’s YOUR day. And it should be like you.
The fact remains, however, that we’ve retained many practices out of habit, if only for the church ceremony.
Let’s take a look at 8 well-established rituals that you may (or may not!) want to keep on your wedding day to create a unique and memorable celebration.
- Why get engaged before you get married?
- Bachelorette and stag parties
- Not seeing the bride on the big day
- Saying “I do” in church
- Bouquet of flowers, petals and grains of rice
- Something old, new, borrowed and blue
- The bride’s dance – the true meaning
- The garter, why with teeth?
1. Why get engaged before you get married?
Traditionally, an engagement ring represents a pledge of exclusivity and a promise of marriage. Originally, it was the man who gave his bride a ring. Today, however, it’s not uncommon for this gift to be reciprocated by the bride-to-be.
The jewel is worn on the left ring finger, and the wedding band often completes the ring. Although it still happens today that a man asks the father of the bride-to-be for his blessing, this practice is becoming rarer.
Getting engaged? Think about the wedding date right away, as custom requires that it be announced when you make your first commitment official.
Interesting historical anecdote
In ancient Egypt, the symbolism of the left ring finger was attributed to the wedding ring because they believed that a heart vein was attached to it.
2. Bachelorette and bachelor parties, rituals of passage
You know this ritual, it’s unequivocal. An exclusive evening for women and men. A rite of passage between single life and that of a couple starting their own family.
There are many excesses associated with these evenings, but above all, it was really about showing friendship and support to the bride and groom.
- For women, the evening was all about gifts and sound advice in preparation for life as a wife-to-be.
- For the men, it was a chance to party without restriction one last time before moving on to a settled, adult life.
3. Not seeing the bride on the big day!
As you may have guessed, not seeing the bride (especially the dress) on the day of the celebration is rooted in the many superstitions associated with weddings. It was said to bring bad luck to the couple’s happiness.
That said, this tradition was also part of the arranged marriages of the time, long before our grandparents. The bride and groom only met at the altar when they exchanged vows.
4. Is saying "I do" in church a matter of religion or tradition?
The influence of religion on Quebec weddings is undeniable. In the past, the ceremony traditionally took place in church out of religious obligation. It was necessary to unite in the eyes of God and respect the sacred vows of marriage.
Today, the church represents a choice, either to respect your beliefs, out of spiritual conviction, or for its majestic architecture and mystical ambience.
However, you need to take certain steps and respect certain conditions to be able to celebrate your day under the symbol of the Catholic religion.
It must be your first marriage. The church does not accept second marriages before God, since your union must endure “until death do you part”.
One of the bride and groom must be baptized and have completed his or her First Communion and Confirmation. If your significant other is not of the Catholic faith, you’ll need to obtain a dispensation from the bishop.
You’ll both need to attend parish meetings in preparation for your wedding, with the priest of your chosen church. These should be scheduled several months before the wedding.
It’s true that these days, religious weddings are less common, not least because we have other choices. For example, the more discreet “mairie” (town hall) and the option of a celebrant who offers you the possibility of getting married in the place of your choice.
That said, if your decision is in favor of the church, it must be reserved for the occasion in the same way as a hall or restaurant. So plan ahead!
5. Flower bouquet and rice grain throwing for fertility
The bouquet of flowers and the throwing of grains of rice for fertilityThe bride’s bouquet of flowers is one of the most enduring traditions. The same goes for the bridegroom’s buttonhole, and even the role of the little flower girl who follows behind the bride.
The original meaning of the bouquet, the floral decorations adorning the church and hall, and the petals scattered before the bride’s arrival, were intended as a token of fertility.
However, if you wish to maintain the purest of traditions, you should know that it is the groom who must offer the bouquet to the bride-to-be as a sign of unalterable fidelity.
As for the throwing of confetti or grains of rice in the direction of the newly-wed couple as they leave the church, this continues the fertility ritual, as does the wedding cake.
6. Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. What does this custom mean?
This belief that the bride must wear something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue on her wedding day does not originate from Quebec customs. In fact, it originates from an English nursery rhyme.
It’s a combination of lucky objects for the couple. Are you superstitious? Why not give it a try? It’s so simple!
Something old: look to the bride’s family. The symbolism indicates the transition from life as a young girl, with her family, to her new life as a bride starting her own family. It could be a piece of jewelry from a mother or grandmother.
Something new: you’ll have no trouble at all, the bride’s dress, or even the ring, will do just fine. It represents the future life of the couple.
Something borrowed: this object comes from a woman happily married to bring happiness and fidelity. It can be a ribbon to put in the hair or to tie ingeniously under the dress.
Something blue: did you know that white garters with blue ribbons are also available? It’s the most discreet way to camouflage that little blue something that symbolizes the couple’s purity, sincerity and fidelity. If yours is white, just add the ribbon, or go for originality with a touch of blue make-up!
7. The first dance to seal union and family alliances
There’s still the bride’s dance. You know, the one that begins between the father and the bride after the first dance between the couple. The father attaches a bill (money) to his daughter’s dress and leaves his place to the next man. Other men wishing to offer money queue up, and the whole thing lasts for 2 or 3 songs.
In fact, we now see the same phenomenon for the groom, to keep the ladies dancing and not leave the husband out in the cold.
However, in the early days of this custom, there was no money involved. The aim was truly symbolic, to seal the alliance between the bride and groom’s respective families.
The ball was “opened” with the bride and her father, who then entrusted the young woman to her husband, henceforth responsible for her safety and happiness. The father would then turn to his daughter’s mother-in-law and invite her to dance, just as the father-in-law invited his wife onto the dance floor.
Only after this ritual was completed could the other guests join in and begin the evening’s festivities.
8. Why a garter and why remove it with your teeth?
Why a garter and why remove it with your teeth? The garter would have been a symbol of fidelity and good luck, but also a sign of purity for women. Removing it meant that the husband was deflowering his wife.
One might think that removing the garter with one’s teeth during the evening wedding celebration only appeared in the last century, but that’s not the case. The famous garter game dates back to the time of Edward III, King of England in the 14th century.
The aim was to auction off the garter. If a man won, he removed the garter with his teeth and went home with the piece of lingerie. If a woman won, the bride’s petticoats remained down, and she kept the object of her lust.
Interesting historical anecdote
Before becoming a more intimate object, the garter was a practical item. Dating back to the Middle Ages, it was even used by gentlemen to hold their stockings.
Other Quebec wedding traditions and customs
We’ve covered 8 traditions and rituals that are still very much a part of many Quebec weddings. However, we have more in store. If you’d like more examples, let us know. We’ll be sure to unearth more.
In the meantime, you could use this information to create a trivia game at your wedding dinner to entertain guests with small prizes for correct answers.
Happy wedding planning!
